Biblical Requirements for Women Seeking to Marry, pt 1 | Pastor Tre Townsley | 6.8.25

Biblical Requirements for Women Seeking to Marry, pt 1

• Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 ²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• Genesis 2:18-25 ¹⁸ And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” ¹⁹ Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. ²¹ And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. ²³ And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” ²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

What does the Bible require of the wife?

• To help her husband

Genesis 2:18

¹⁸ And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 

• Carry his burdens with him
• Help him in the way he needs help

• You must respect your husband

Ephesians 5:33b

³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

• Basic respect is not earned, it’s always given
• Soldiers in the armed services are taught to give respect even when their superiors haven’t earned it
• Public rebuke/disagreements (if they ever occur) are extremely rare
• Never discuss his failures with your peers

• Love and obey your own husband

Titus 2:3-4

³ the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— ⁴ that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

• No one should have more outside influence on your personal affairs than your husband

• Render sexual rights unto him

1 Corinthians 7:4

⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

• Buy-in and agreement from both parties are required
• Obstacles must be overcome together
• Sometimes you need prayer and supplication
• Sometimes you need prayer and supplements
• The goal is fulfillment of both partners within the confines of marriage

• Submission to his leadership

Ephesians 5:22-24

²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, ² when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

• It doesn’t mean become a ‘yes’ woman
• Sub: under   Mission: an important assignment accompanied by strong conviction 
• Support his convictions

• Excel them all

Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-29

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. ¹¹ The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. ¹² She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. 

²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ²⁹ “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.”

Proverbs 12:4 ⁴ An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Biblical Requirements for Men Seeking to Marry, pt 1 | Pastor Tre Townsley | 6.1.25

Biblical Requirements for Men Seeking to Marry, pt 1

• Ephesians 5:25-33

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ³⁰ For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

• The qualifications for the President of the US state that the candidate must be a natural born citizen, at least 35 years of age, and a resident of the US for at least 14 years. (US Constitution)
• To become an astronaut, you need to be a U.S. citizen, possess a master's degree in a STEM field, and have at least two years of related professional experience or 1,000 hours of pilot-in-command time. Additionally, you must be able to pass the NASA astronaut physical examination. (NASA Astronaut Selection Board)
• To get married in the US, generally, both parties must be of legal age to marry in the state they are getting married in (typically 18), not already married, have the mental capacity to consent to marriage, and be free from any legal impediments to marriage, such as being too closely related, or lacking legal capacity. (State and Federal law)
• Just as we discover the laws of physics (we don’t author them because we did not institute matter and energy), we can only discover the requirements of marriage.
• While many focus on what the bible doesn’t say, focusing on what the bible does say will clear much confusion.

What does the bible require of the husband?

• Leave your father and mother and cleave to her 

Genesis 2:23-24

²³ And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.”  ²⁴Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

• Live with them based on understanding them (as equals with different functions/strengths)

1 Peter 3:7

⁷ Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

• Don’t be bitter toward her, but instead be joyful with her

Colossians 3:19

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

⁹ Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.

• Be to Christ what you expect her to be to you 

1 Corinthians 11:3

 ³ But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

• Go in for life 

Matthew 19:6-9

⁶ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” ⁷ They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” ⁸ He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” 

• Render sexual rights to her 

 1 Corinthians 7:3a

³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her...

• Be satisfied (not content) with who you have

Proverbs 5:15-20

¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. ¹⁶ Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? ¹⁷ Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. ¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. ¹⁹ As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. ²⁰ For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

• Provide for her needs in this world 

1 Timothy 5:8

 ⁸ But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

• Love her like yourself and if ever you have to choose…she wins 

Ephesians 5:25-29

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

• ‘The world’s love is always object-oriented. A person is loved because of physical attractiveness, personality, wit, prestige, or some feature or trait that we find appealing. This type of love is fickle, however. For once the trait that is found lovable is diminished by age, or someone more talented or gifted comes along, this fickle love ceases.’ - https://harvest.org/know-god-article/the-role-of-the-husband-in-the-marriage/

• While this certainly applies to marriage, it first describes Christ and His bride

Ephesians 5:32

³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

God’s Design The Biblical Role of Husbands in Marriage | Pastor Chris Searcy | 5.25.25

God’s Design
The Biblical Role of Husbands in Marriage

I. Introduction: Addressing the Design (Tension)

• Acknowledge the cultural discomfort with terms like “headship” and “submission.”
• That is a result of human sin— God’s design is for human flourishing in marriage.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

He created male and female equal in value but not role.

• Roles are not about value—but about divine function and order.
  
• Galatians 3:28
  28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
  
  There is obviously still male and female…. It is not talking about appearance but value!
  We are all equally valued and loved in Christ!

II. The Husband as the Head

In God’s design, there is an order!

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

This order is modeled in the trinity.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Headship is Gods design, reaffirmed in the Bible. 

Biblically, what does it look like?

• Christ models it for us:
• Christ's headship was defined by sacrifice, servant leadership, and accountability before God.
  

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

John 13:14-15
If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example…

Mark 10:45

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

What are the practical ways headship manifests

1. Protection 
2. Provision
3. Spiritual Leadership

III. The Husband as the Protector

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life...

• “Weaker vessel” = not lesser, but worthy of protection and care
  (as with fine china vs. metal tools).

Nehemiah 4:14
Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.

Proverbs 24:11

Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.

• Husbands are spiritual and physical warriors—guarding their homes from moral, emotional, and spiritual threats.

IV. The Husband as the Provider

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Genesis 3:17-19
...cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life...

• Post-fall, provision became laborious, but it is still God’s command and man's responsibility.

Proverbs 13:22
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children...

Proverbs 12:11
Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

V. The Husband as the Spiritual leader

Sanctify her with the washing of the word.

Genesis 18:19 (God speaking of Abraham)

19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice...

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children..

Objections

1. “But this sounds oppressive.”

• Oppression is a result of sin and abuse—not the structure God designed.

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

• True biblical headship elevates the woman, just as Christ elevated the church.

2. “Aren’t men and women equal?”

• Yes, in value and dignity. But NOT IN ROLE! 
• God designed different roles.
• Equality in worth does not mean UNIFORMITY in role (just like Christ and the Father, John 14:28).
  
  Ephesians 4:11-16 KJV
  11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; 12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.

Psalm 128:1-4
Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands... Your wife will be like a fruitful vine...

Joshua 24:15
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

• A biblical husband leaves a legacy of life, peace, and order.

VIII. Closing Challenge

• The biblical role of a husband is not about control—it’s about Christlike sacrifice, stewardship, and servant leadership.
• God’s design isn’t outdated—it’s eternal truth.
• If we find this to be a difficult teaching we have been swayed by culture.

Psalm 128:1-4
Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands... Your wife will be like a fruitful vine...

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.