Simple Steps To Good Relationships

 

Phil 2: 1-5

Is there any encouragement belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. NLT You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

 

Embrace What Jesus Said Are The Two Greatest Commandments Mat. 22:37-40

 

• Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. 
• And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law [Ten Commandments and the prophets from Isaiah to  Daniel and from Hosea to Malachi].

 

Three Foundational Principles To Have Healthy Relationships

 

Foundation - the lowest load-bearing part of a building, typically below ground level. An underlying basis or principle. The foundation is not the whole of a thing, a building or a relationship but it is ultimately what holds it together. It is the main ingredient.

 

1. Love God - How? John 14:15 If ye love me, keep[obey] my commandments. Take time to get to know him. Create a love relationship opposed to a duty relationship
2. Love Yourself - How? 1Cor. 3:16 Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? Accept what God says about you.
3. Love Your Neighbor - Mat. 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

 

Christ took an interest in others, mankind. To be like him we must take an interest in the well being of other people. Christ came to seek and save those who were lost. The well being of mankind was so important, that God came in the flesh and allowed Himself to be crucified to redeem mankind. THAT’S LOVE!

 

When we find ourselves treating others in an ill-mannered way what does that say about how we feel about ourselves? 

• Does it say I have to make someone else feel low to make myself feel higher or important?
• Does it say that I may not have a healthy view of myself

Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

 

Questions To Ask Ourselves Before We React Toward Others

1. Would I want someone to treat me this way?
2. Would I mind receiving the same words that I’m giving out?
3. If the roles were reversed would I give the same treatment?

 

Six Steps to Build Healthy Relationships

 

Be Aware of Negativity Bias

Studies show that criticisms often have a greater impact than compliments, and bad news frequently draws more attention than good. The reason for this is that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias (also called the negativity bias), and it can have a powerful effect on your behavior, your decisions, and even your relationships.

 

The negative bias is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events. This negativity bias means that we feel the sting of a rebuke more powerfully than we feel the joy of praise.

 

Focus on Ways To Cut People A Break

When it comes to relationships, it is valuable to remember that negative comments usually carry more weight than positive ones. Being aware of our own tendency to fixate on the negative  is important. By understanding this natural human tendency, you can focus on finding ways to cut other people a break and to stop expecting the worst.

 

Eliminate Negative Self-Talk 

Pay attention to the thoughts in your mind. Correct the thoughts in your head with the truth. Stop them in your head before they get in your heart and come out of your mouth. Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

 

Refrain Past Situations 

Evaluate the way you interpret past experiences and events. Without ignoring real danger or pretending that something didn’t happen, give equal balance to the positive side even if it is a lesson learned. Ro 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[fn] have been called according to his purpose.

 

Establish New Patterns

Engage in safe activities that bring you joy or make you feel better afterwards: Hobbies, exercise, reading a book, listening to upbeat music, volunteering or watching a funny movie.

 

Savor Positive Moments

Because it takes more for positive experiences to be remembered, it is important to give extra attention to good things that happen. Where negative things might be quickly transferred and stored in your long-term memory. So when something great happens, take a moment to really focus on it. Celebrate victories even if they seem small. Replay special moments several times in your memory and focus on the wonderful feelings the memory evokes.

 

1 Peter 4:8-10 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:

 

Hebrews 10:24-25 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

 

Closing

We can only love others to the degree that we love ourselves, and we only love ourselves to the degree that we know the love of God.

By: Bishop Fredrick and Tijuanna Adetunji