Next Level Relationships:Marriages II

Genesis 2:19-25

¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man* to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs* and closed up the opening. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. ²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” ²⁴ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ²⁵ Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

I.             MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT.

Contract (n) an agreement between two or more parties, especially one that is written and enforceable by law. Contracts are based on protection and mistrust. They allow the parties involved to look for loop holes and exist clauses, and are centered on your rights and protection. In fact, the Bible doesn’t say anything about “contracts” anywhere in scripture!

The term “covenant” means “a coming together.” In the Bible, the word covenant is translated in Hebrew over 300 times!

The meaning of the Old Testament word is bond; a covenant refers to two or more parties bound together. The New Testament term has usually been translated as covenant, but testimony and testament have also been used. The generally accepted idea of binding or establishing a bond between two parties carries with it the concept of “cleaving,” or sticking together like Super Glue!

1.    Covenants require Sacrifice.

Psalm 50:5

⁵ “Bring my faithful people to me— those who made a covenant with me by giving sacrifices.”

2.    Covenant Requires Death.

Hebrews 9:16-18

¹⁶ For where there is a testament, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator. ¹⁷ For a testament is in force after men are dead, since it has no power at all while the testator lives. ¹⁸ Therefore not even the first covenant was dedicated without blood.

Contract: I take thee for me.
Covenant: I give myself to thee.

Contract: You had better do it!
Covenant: How may I serve you?

Contract: What do I get?
Covenant: What can I give?

Contract: I’ll meet you halfway.
Covenant: I’ll give you 100% plus.

Contract: I have to
Covenant: I want to

3.    Covenants Bring Certainty.

Hebrews 6:16-17

¹⁶ For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute (strife). ¹⁷ Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath.

II.            TIPS FOR A STRONG COVENANT MARRIAGE.

1.    Realize Happiness alone is not the intended purpose of Marriage.

Genesis 1:28

²⁷ So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. ²⁸ Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.” NLT

Genesis 2:18-20

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. NLT

a.    The Kingdom in general is not about our Happiness. It’s about our Obedience and Service.

                   Luke 14:15-27

¹⁵ Hearing this, a man sitting at the table with Jesus exclaimed “What a blessing it will be to attend a banquet in the Kingdom of God!” ¹⁶ Jesus replied with this story: “A man prepared a great feast and sent out many invitations. ¹⁷ When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready.’ ¹⁸ But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me.’ ¹⁹ Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me.’ ²⁰ Another said, ‘I now have a wife, so I can’t come.’ ²¹ “The servant returned and told his master what they had said. His master was furious and said, ‘Go quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and invite the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.’ ²² After the servant had done this, he reported, ‘There is still room for more.’ ²³ So his master said, ‘Go out into the country lanes and behind the hedges and urge anyone you find to come, so that the house will be full. ²⁴ For none of those I first invited will get even the smallest taste of my banquet.’ ” ²⁵ A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, ²⁶ “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.

Husbands are to Love Wives like Christ Loves the church. Wives Submit to Your Husbands and Respect them.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

2.    Husbands cannot see their wives apart from Themselves.

She is bone of our bone.

“This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!

3.    Wives must understand that you were given to Help Him.

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

4.    You must leave when you get married.

5.    You must Cleave (Glue).

No spirit of separation or divorce.

                   Ephesians 4:27

                   Nor give place to the devil…

III.         DUTIES TO OBEY.

Husbands are to:

1.    Provide for wife and family.

1 Timothy 5:8

⁸ But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. NLT

2.    Lead Wife and Family.

1 Corinthians 11:3

³ But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. NLT

3.    Love as Christ loves the Church.

Ephesians 5:25

²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. NLT

4.    Not be bitter against her

Colossians 3:19

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. NKJV

5.    Honor and consider her a joint heir.

1 Peter 3:7

⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. NLT

Wives are to:

1.    Submit to their leadership as Christ Submits to the Church.

Ephesians 5:22-24

²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. NLT

2.    Respect (Reverence) your Husband.

Ephesians 5:33

³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

3.    Help Your Husband.

Genesis 2:18

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

4.    Love Him.

Titus 2:4

⁴ These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children.

5.    Satisfy His Sexual Desires

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

³ The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. ⁴ The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Next Level Relationships: Marriages I

In order to properly understand marriage, we must understand the intent of God’s heart for creating it.

Revelation 19:7-9

⁷ Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” ⁸ And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. ⁹ Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’ ” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings of God.” NKJV

FACTS

1.    Jesus knew the course of History before He created the earth. 

         Revelation 13:8

⁸ All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. NKJV

2.    God promised His Son an Eternal Reward for His Sacrifice—A Bride to reign with Him.

I.             THE BRIDE OF CHRIST IN THE NEW TESTAMENT.

1.     John the Baptist Introduced Jesus as a Bridegroom.

John 3:25-30

²⁵ A debate broke out between John’s disciples and a certain Jew* over ceremonial cleansing. ²⁶ So John’s disciples came to him and said, “Rabbi, the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you identified as the Messiah, is also baptizing people. And everybody is going to him instead of coming to us.” ²⁷ John replied, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. ²⁸ You yourselves know how plainly I told you, ‘I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him.’ ²⁹ It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. ³⁰ He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. NLT

2.     Jesus Declared Himself as the Bridegroom and the Disciples as Friends of the Bridegroom.

Matthew 9:14-15

¹⁴ Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?” ¹⁵ And Jesus said to them, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. NKJV

3.    One of Jesus’ Last Messages was about a Wedding.

Matthew 22:1-6

Jesus also told them other parables. He said, ² “The Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a king who prepared a great wedding feast for his son. ³ When the banquet was ready, he sent his servants to notify those who were invited. But they all refused to come! ⁴ “So he sent other servants to tell them, ‘The feast has been prepared. The bulls and fattened cattle have been killed, and everything is ready. Come to the banquet!’ ⁵ But the guests he had invited ignored them and went their own way, one to his farm, another to his business. NLT

4.     After this He Gave the Greatest Commandment.

Matthew 22:35-40

³⁵ Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”³⁷ Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

5.     Jesus Privately Told His Disciples about the wedding so they would be wise.

Matthew 25:1-13

“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids* who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. ³ The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, ⁴ but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. ⁵ When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. ⁶ “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ ⁷ “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. ⁸ Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ ⁹ “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ ¹⁰ “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. ¹¹ Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ ¹² “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ ¹³ “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return. NLT

6.     Paul Talks about marriage in Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:25-29

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. NKJV

Ephesians 5:31-32

³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

7.     Revelation is the Consummation of the Bridal Revelation.

Revelation 21:9 Come and I will show you the bride the Lamb’s Wife.

Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the Bride Say Come.

II.           THE GARDEN IS A PROTOTYPE.

1.     God desires an equal partner for Eternity.

John 17:20-24

²⁰ “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; ²¹ that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. ²² And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: ²³ I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. NKJV

Ephesians 1:4

⁴ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. NKJV

2.    God Didn’t want Adam Alone like He doesn’t want to be Alone. Genesis 2:18

3.    Adam Went to Sleep to get Bride / Jesus went to Sleep on cross

4.    Eve taken Out of Adams side / Bride taken out of Jesus side on Cross. John 19:34

5.    Adam Cleaves to Eve / Jesus Cleaves to us in Shame free love.

III.         EARTHLY MARRIAGE IS A PROTOTYPE OF OUR HEAVENLY MARRIAGE.

EPHESIANS 5:22-33

HUSBANDS…

1.    Love (agapao) wives as Christ Loves us. Ephesians 5:25

2.    Give yourself for her to. Ephesians 5:25

3.    Make her better for you. Ephesians 5:25

4.    Love her as you love your own body. Ephesians 5:28

5.    Nourish and Cherish Her. Ephesians 5:29

6.    Love her as we love ourselves. Ephesians 5:29

7.    Cleave to her. Ephesians 5:31

WIFE….

1.    Submit to the Lord by Submitting to your Husband. Ephesians 5:22

2.    Be subject to husband’s leadership in everything. Ephesians 5:24

3.    Respect /Reverence your Husband. Ephesians 5:33

Next Level Relationships- Singles II

I. WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS TO THE UNMARRIED.

   1.      You’re Good –

          Good - kalós; Constitutionally good choice, excellent.

1 Corinthians 7:8

⁸ But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am. KJV

1. You Have a lot to Give Jesus.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34

³² I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. ³³ But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. ³⁴ His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. NLT

2. You Can Control Yourself.

1 Corinthians 7:9

⁹ But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. NLT

3. We Must Trust God Emphatically. (He Knows our Gifts and Our Need)

Matthew 19:8-12

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. ⁹ And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.*” ¹⁰ Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” ¹¹ “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. ¹² Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry* for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” 

4. Must Keep Focus on the Kingdom of God. (Eternity)

1 Corinthians 7:28-29

²⁷ Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. ²⁸ But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.²⁹ But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none.

a.       Resurrected bodies, Revelation 21-22, 1Corinthians 15:17,19; Job 19:26

b.       New (resurrected) Earth. Revelation 21:1

c.        God will live with us forever on the New Earth.

Revelation 21:3

³ I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.

d.       No more curse, Grace Unending. Revelation 22:3

e.       No Shame or Potential for Shame.

f.         Sin is forever removed.  Revelation 21:27

g.       Death forever removed. Revelation 21:4

h.        Satan removed and thrown into Lake of fire. Revelation 20:10

i.         We will see God face to face. Revelation 22:4

j.         Only one Marriage Christ and the Church. Revelation 19:7; Revelation 22:17

6.    Realize any Blessing you Depend of for Happiness will bring you the opposite.

1 Kings 11:3

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. ² The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. ³ He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.NLT

Ecclesiastes 2:11

¹¹ But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere. NLT

Ecclesiastes 12:13

¹³ That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. ¹⁴ God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. NLT

I. QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK.

1. What do I do if I am Angry at God because He has not given me a Spouse.

-         Be honest with Him.

-         Ask for Forgiveness.

-         Realign your Faith with His Sovereignty .

2. If God is all I need Why do I keep longing for something more?

3. How Active Should I be in finding a Mate? Should I leave it all up to God?

a.    Depends on your faith.

Ruth (God and Ruth helped) She went to lay.

-         Boaz was kin to her. (Equally yoked)

-         He had a job.

-         They weren’t in the Club.

-         She was obedient to her Guardian.

-         She was willing to accept what God gave her.

Proverbs 18:22

²² He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord

·        Nothing wrong with introducing two people as long as you get out of the way.

·        Don’t use God said in suggesting or affirming marriage.

4. Is meeting someone on a dating site acceptable as a Christian?

5. Medically, they say staying a virgin until 20’s and 30’s has negative implications.

6. Is it ok to have a friend of the opposite sex? (That friend is married and I dated them before but now we are just friends)

7. Confused!

·        How do you handle a sister without hurting her feeling when she is saying God told her that she is your wife, when he has not told me?

1 Corinthians 14:29

²⁹ Let two or three people prophesy, and let the others evaluate what is said.

8. Are “Soul Mates” real? If so, how would you know if you have found your soul mate?

9. Potential or Reality?

·        Should a woman accept “potential” or “reality”?

Matthew 7:16

¹⁶ Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

10. What forms of Physical Affection are acceptable before marriage?

Colossians 3:5

⁵ Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, ^minordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry KJV