Next Level Relationships: Marriages I

In order to properly understand marriage, we must understand the intent of God’s heart for creating it.

Revelation 19:7-9

⁷ Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” ⁸ And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. ⁹ Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’ ” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings of God.” NKJV

FACTS

1.    Jesus knew the course of History before He created the earth. 

         Revelation 13:8

⁸ All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. NKJV

2.    God promised His Son an Eternal Reward for His Sacrifice—A Bride to reign with Him.

I.             THE BRIDE OF CHRIST IN THE NEW TESTAMENT.

1.     John the Baptist Introduced Jesus as a Bridegroom.

John 3:25-30

²⁵ A debate broke out between John’s disciples and a certain Jew* over ceremonial cleansing. ²⁶ So John’s disciples came to him and said, “Rabbi, the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you identified as the Messiah, is also baptizing people. And everybody is going to him instead of coming to us.” ²⁷ John replied, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. ²⁸ You yourselves know how plainly I told you, ‘I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him.’ ²⁹ It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. ³⁰ He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. NLT

2.     Jesus Declared Himself as the Bridegroom and the Disciples as Friends of the Bridegroom.

Matthew 9:14-15

¹⁴ Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?” ¹⁵ And Jesus said to them, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. NKJV

3.    One of Jesus’ Last Messages was about a Wedding.

Matthew 22:1-6

Jesus also told them other parables. He said, ² “The Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a king who prepared a great wedding feast for his son. ³ When the banquet was ready, he sent his servants to notify those who were invited. But they all refused to come! ⁴ “So he sent other servants to tell them, ‘The feast has been prepared. The bulls and fattened cattle have been killed, and everything is ready. Come to the banquet!’ ⁵ But the guests he had invited ignored them and went their own way, one to his farm, another to his business. NLT

4.     After this He Gave the Greatest Commandment.

Matthew 22:35-40

³⁵ Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”³⁷ Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

5.     Jesus Privately Told His Disciples about the wedding so they would be wise.

Matthew 25:1-13

“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids* who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. ³ The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, ⁴ but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. ⁵ When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. ⁶ “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ ⁷ “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. ⁸ Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ ⁹ “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ ¹⁰ “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. ¹¹ Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ ¹² “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ ¹³ “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return. NLT

6.     Paul Talks about marriage in Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:25-29

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. NKJV

Ephesians 5:31-32

³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

7.     Revelation is the Consummation of the Bridal Revelation.

Revelation 21:9 Come and I will show you the bride the Lamb’s Wife.

Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the Bride Say Come.

II.           THE GARDEN IS A PROTOTYPE.

1.     God desires an equal partner for Eternity.

John 17:20-24

²⁰ “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; ²¹ that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. ²² And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: ²³ I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. NKJV

Ephesians 1:4

⁴ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. NKJV

2.    God Didn’t want Adam Alone like He doesn’t want to be Alone. Genesis 2:18

3.    Adam Went to Sleep to get Bride / Jesus went to Sleep on cross

4.    Eve taken Out of Adams side / Bride taken out of Jesus side on Cross. John 19:34

5.    Adam Cleaves to Eve / Jesus Cleaves to us in Shame free love.

III.         EARTHLY MARRIAGE IS A PROTOTYPE OF OUR HEAVENLY MARRIAGE.

EPHESIANS 5:22-33

HUSBANDS…

1.    Love (agapao) wives as Christ Loves us. Ephesians 5:25

2.    Give yourself for her to. Ephesians 5:25

3.    Make her better for you. Ephesians 5:25

4.    Love her as you love your own body. Ephesians 5:28

5.    Nourish and Cherish Her. Ephesians 5:29

6.    Love her as we love ourselves. Ephesians 5:29

7.    Cleave to her. Ephesians 5:31

WIFE….

1.    Submit to the Lord by Submitting to your Husband. Ephesians 5:22

2.    Be subject to husband’s leadership in everything. Ephesians 5:24

3.    Respect /Reverence your Husband. Ephesians 5:33

Next Level Relationships- Singles II

I. WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS TO THE UNMARRIED.

   1.      You’re Good –

          Good - kalós; Constitutionally good choice, excellent.

1 Corinthians 7:8

⁸ But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am. KJV

1. You Have a lot to Give Jesus.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34

³² I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. ³³ But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. ³⁴ His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. NLT

2. You Can Control Yourself.

1 Corinthians 7:9

⁹ But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. NLT

3. We Must Trust God Emphatically. (He Knows our Gifts and Our Need)

Matthew 19:8-12

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. ⁹ And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.*” ¹⁰ Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” ¹¹ “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. ¹² Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry* for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” 

4. Must Keep Focus on the Kingdom of God. (Eternity)

1 Corinthians 7:28-29

²⁷ Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. ²⁸ But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.²⁹ But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none.

a.       Resurrected bodies, Revelation 21-22, 1Corinthians 15:17,19; Job 19:26

b.       New (resurrected) Earth. Revelation 21:1

c.        God will live with us forever on the New Earth.

Revelation 21:3

³ I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.

d.       No more curse, Grace Unending. Revelation 22:3

e.       No Shame or Potential for Shame.

f.         Sin is forever removed.  Revelation 21:27

g.       Death forever removed. Revelation 21:4

h.        Satan removed and thrown into Lake of fire. Revelation 20:10

i.         We will see God face to face. Revelation 22:4

j.         Only one Marriage Christ and the Church. Revelation 19:7; Revelation 22:17

6.    Realize any Blessing you Depend of for Happiness will bring you the opposite.

1 Kings 11:3

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. ² The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. ³ He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.NLT

Ecclesiastes 2:11

¹¹ But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere. NLT

Ecclesiastes 12:13

¹³ That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. ¹⁴ God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. NLT

I. QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK.

1. What do I do if I am Angry at God because He has not given me a Spouse.

-         Be honest with Him.

-         Ask for Forgiveness.

-         Realign your Faith with His Sovereignty .

2. If God is all I need Why do I keep longing for something more?

3. How Active Should I be in finding a Mate? Should I leave it all up to God?

a.    Depends on your faith.

Ruth (God and Ruth helped) She went to lay.

-         Boaz was kin to her. (Equally yoked)

-         He had a job.

-         They weren’t in the Club.

-         She was obedient to her Guardian.

-         She was willing to accept what God gave her.

Proverbs 18:22

²² He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord

·        Nothing wrong with introducing two people as long as you get out of the way.

·        Don’t use God said in suggesting or affirming marriage.

4. Is meeting someone on a dating site acceptable as a Christian?

5. Medically, they say staying a virgin until 20’s and 30’s has negative implications.

6. Is it ok to have a friend of the opposite sex? (That friend is married and I dated them before but now we are just friends)

7. Confused!

·        How do you handle a sister without hurting her feeling when she is saying God told her that she is your wife, when he has not told me?

1 Corinthians 14:29

²⁹ Let two or three people prophesy, and let the others evaluate what is said.

8. Are “Soul Mates” real? If so, how would you know if you have found your soul mate?

9. Potential or Reality?

·        Should a woman accept “potential” or “reality”?

Matthew 7:16

¹⁶ Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

10. What forms of Physical Affection are acceptable before marriage?

Colossians 3:5

⁵ Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, ^minordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry KJV

Next Level Relationships:Singles

    1.      You’re Good –

          Good - kalós; Constitutionally good choice, excellent.

1 Corinthians 7:8

⁸ But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am. KJV

⁸ So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.  NLT

A crucial element in the psychological health of the single person is his or her acceptance of the state of singleness, much as people can be happily or unhappily married. Encyclopedia of psychology & counseling

There are advantages to being single.

a.       Increased mobility.

b.      Freedom.

c.       Psychological and social autonomy.

d.      Ability to build great friendships and support structures.

e.       More time to devote to career.

f.        Economic independence.

g.      Ability to Choose. (Marriage)

    2.      You Have a lot to Give Jesus.

    1 Corinthians 7:32-35

    ³² I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. ³³ But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. ³⁴ His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. ³⁵ I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. NLT

Acts 21:8-9

⁸ And the next day we that were of Paul’s company departed, and came unto Caesarea: and we entered into the house of Philip the evangelist, which was one of the seven; and abode with him. ⁹ And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy. KJV

    3.      You Can Control Yourself.

Galatians 5:22

²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

1 Timoty 1:7

⁷ for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. ESV

Acts 24:25

²⁴ A few days later Felix came back with his wife, Drusilla, who was Jewish. Sending for Paul, they listened as he told them about faith in Christ Jesus. ²⁵ As he reasoned with them about righteousness and self-control and the coming day of judgment, Felix became frightened.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

2 Peter 1:6

⁵ In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, ⁶ and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness

             1 Corinthians 7:9

⁹ But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. NLT

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

⁹ Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, ¹⁰ or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. NLT

   4.      We Must Trust God Emphatically.

(He Knows our Gifts and Our Need)

Matthew 19:8-12

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. ⁹ And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.*” ¹⁰ Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” ¹¹ “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. ¹² Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry* for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” 

            Look at Leah

            Genesis 29:17

¹⁷ There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes,* but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. NLT

-          God got her a husband by hook or crook

Genesis 29:31-35

³¹ When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive. ³² So Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben,* for she said, “The Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me.”  ³³ She soon became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She named him Simeon,* for she said, “The Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son.” ³⁴ Then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi,* for she said, “Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!” ³⁵ Once again Leah became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She named him Judah,* for she said, “Now I will praise the Lord!” And then she stopped having children. NLT

5. Must Keep Focus on the Kingdom of God. (Eternity)

a.      Resurrected bodies, Revelation 21-22, 1 Corinthians 15:17,19; Job 19:26

b.      New (resurrected) Earth. Revelations 21:1

c.       God will live with us forever on the New Earth.

Revelations 21:3

³ I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.

d.       No more curse, Grace Unending. Revelations 22:3

e.       No Shame or Potential for Shame

f.        Sin is forever removed.  Revelations 21:27

g.       Death forever removed. Revelations 21:4

h.      Satan removed and thrown into Lake of fire. Revelations 20:10

i.        We will see God face to face. Revelations 22:4

j.        Only one Marriage Christ and the Church. Revelations 19:7; Revelations 22:17

    6.      Realize any Blessing you Depend of for Happiness will bring you the opposite.

1 Kings 11:3

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. ² The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. ³ He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.NLT

Ecclesiastes 2:11

¹¹ But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere. NLT

Ecclesiastes 12:13

¹³ That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. ¹⁴ God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. NLT